Lost And Found

Lost And Found

    I was feeling fortunate that Sunday. It was hot and humid out there, I was reclining on sofa, most importantly I had TV remote with me. That is a much coveted gadget, difficult to seize for most of the time it is under control of either younger one or elder one. The younger daughter frame by frame thrusts upon us Chhota Bheem, Doraemon and the elder one gives no freedom from Zalak Dikhla ja.. or some kind of awards programmes with lot of non sense from anchors, less awards, more dance performances and even more advertisements. I find it really hard to digest all the rubbish of ridiculous questions asked to participants, well scripted flood of emotions, over reaction of participants to favourable or adverse remarks, sensational but fabricated drama among panel of judges… all to create ultimately the hype around the show to an extent that the nice performance is overshadowed by this drama. The remote that day was with me. I could maneuver  the way I want. Just started surfing the channels.

      I was on a Hindi movie channel. It was an old movie. I must have missed the initial part. It was dark. The train was leaving the station. The family of four was in. It seemed that two kids and parents were going to some metro (can it be any other than Mumbai then). They looked from a poor family must have been going to find fortune in Mumbai. The train took momentum. The kids lost in sleep and parents lost in uncertain future. I was about to change the channel, my cell phone rang. A close friend there on the other side. We exchanged some phone number and ‘mouth sweeteners’. The call ended, I turned to remote to change the channel. While I was on phone, the train had met with an accident. All plunge into darkness. The parents and kids get separated, parents somehow find one but other is lost. I just burst into laughter for that was something I was predicting before I got a call.

       Writing the next part is easy for me. One will be police other will be thug, one brilliant student , other dreaded criminal, they come across after 20 years, one of the parents dead most probably father. Lot of animosity between the duo, real villain is different, a common enemy, some photo or a thing becomes catalyst, brothers meet, tears roll on and off the screen. A predictable formula of Bollywood. 30% freedom of modification you can have 30 movies produced. Train journey, village festival, flood all have been used by this formula. Overused the formula is dead for now. Train accidents, floods all take a huge toll on humanity. As compared to lost and found formula there are few attempts to explore the human cost of such tragedies. Thousands suffer in such incidents, everbody has a story but our movies have failed to present the human cost, inhuman angle, trauma, bravehearts, fightback by the victims. At the most the incident is used to initiate a love story. Given the frequency of occurrence there should have been good movies depicting these emotions, impact on life of an individual, and society.

        The lost and found formula have no takers today. Tracing an individual is a bit easy as compared to 30-40 years ago. The formula has lost its ground but not train accidents, unfortunately they occur frequently. The formula sometimes is modified to Kidnapping, but with some hits it has also lost its sheen. The predictable formula is now funnily used to refer to those leaders who are seen only during election, they are lost after the election but are traced again during next election. The movie industry lost the formula but we continue to lose many kids, people. When TV came and was not for 24 hours there used to be public notice regarding the missing persons. With fight for TRP and no respite from advertisement there is no slot for missing persons. At least we have fast communication, better human connectivity, alert media if properly used, the tragedy can be averted provided you have better connections, strong clout and… yes even stronger line of fate.

     My cousin lives in UK. Almost settled there she has two lovely kids. Elder Owee is a sweet girl just four and half years old. Smart, fits in chubby chicks …. category. She is intelligent and in day to day life routinely displays it. My cousin's some relatives went to UK, stayed for couple of days. One day they planned to visit a mall. Owee went with relatives and my cousin decided to join later. The mall was burst into crowd. They also got involved in shopping. Owee was also enjoying. After an hour my cousin went to join them. When she caught them in the mall she realized Owee was not there. She separated from them in the crowd, they unmindful of it went ahead. All were panicked. The search began. Just then there was in air an announcement regarding Owee that she was at the reception counter.

     Owee displayed brilliant stuff. When she realized that she was on her own, she fortunately saw mother of her friend, she went to her and said “I am lost”. That lady immediately put her at reception counter and announcement went in air. All rushed and found her cool and calm, waiting for the parents. She indeed displayed great character and presence of mind at such a tender age. That was great. When I came to know about this incident a thought came to me as what would have happened in India that too in a small city. First of all the child after realizing that it is lost would burst into wild cry. People would them go to it and questioning would begin. The solution if fails to come by easily, Police would come, sometimes complicating the matter. The trouble to parents would be nightmarish and child would be in great trauma.

    I don’t know if she was educated in the school about such emergency and how to respond. But one thing for sure in her subconscious mind she had faith in the system there, the reason she did not panic. I am sure she indeed would have handled that inspite of it but not many can respond this way. If only child knows that there is system in place, knows where to go, what number to dial in case of emergency the response would be without panic. And when such system is effective, schools can also educate children how to handle such situations. Our society, administration and schools can collectively make a difference. The problem is our indifference to have a social and administrative system in place. Most are unwilling to accept that it can happen to anybody. Nobody desires but may have to face it. No doubt we don’t have an effective system in place but still schools can play decisive role. Along with tables and alphabets if they teach them how to handle emergency, they will be smarter in adverse situations.

         Lost and found formula is obsolete in movies but being lost in crowded place is reality. Movies make forgettable entertainment but real life trauma is unforgettable. There should be no place for lost and found formula in real life, at the most lost and immediately found. It is possible only if we as a society realize human cost and create a system for this.

    

                                                                                          

Unsung Hero

Unsung Hero

     Reading newspaper has always been an addiction to me. I don’t remember exactly when and how I started reading newspaper but all I can say is that it came naturally to me. I have always enjoyed the privilege of having access to more than one news paper everyday. Even my favourite  prescription for improving knowledge of current affairs which I usually give  to my students as and when I get an opportunity, is read at least  two newspapers and one magazine. I must admit that the quality material that I read and have been reading in newspapers has shaped my thought process, gave me some viewpoints on socio-political issues, encouraged me to think differently and off course immense pleasure everyday. Along with news I like analytical articles, editorials, articles of great personalities, articles on greatness of a personality and finally mapping a personality for greatness and matured human element of sensitivity.

  Given our penchant for sensational news we often find scams, murders, given prominence. Page three gossips, celebrities, their affairs real as well as fabricated make for good readership. We are so interested in private life of others, so much attracted to the glamorous world that we tend to read all at times foolish stories about it. Ridiculous brawls in five star hotels, intemperate behavior at public places by stardom have all been and continue to be part of our daily meals. Obviously we are being served over dose of all this spicy material. Intellectual inputs expected from newspaper find space on editorial page but not many read. As for the information content so much is available as to confuse the reader what to read. In this chaos what is often lost is the information about exceptional selfless efforts in making life easier for needy by people who prefer to maintain low profile, are devoid of shine, who do the job considered menial by many.

       Even if something is published in all probability it is missed for we in our busy routine tend to focus first on corruption, scandals, scams, murders, terrorists attacks, bomb blasts, accidents, stars’ dust, ramp walk, cat walk… by the time we shift to something more human, pleasant, divinely beautiful we are on the verge of getting late to our mundane affairs, prompting us to close the pages, ultimately putting the brakes to our possibly journey into a world nicer, serene, divinely attractive. Engraved in our habits we tend to miss inadvertently initially and habitually later.  

        Getting enticing material is easy but reading something inspiring is rare. What inspires you is a personal choice. Occasionally you hit into something leaving you awestruck. Recently I was reading Marathi weekly Lokprabha, I completed reading about our Olympic preparations, possibility of getting a medal, rationale behind our poor show then unintentionally locked on to Dinakar Kamble, a social worker. Soon I find myself totally engrossed in the article. He is to say simply is a rescue worker doing the job voluntarily. But calling him a rescue man won’t give him justice. He rescues dead bodies from accidents, drowning tragedies, suicides... Absolutely unglamorous job, but one of the most difficult considering the condition of the bodies mutilated, stinking, mangled, swollen…

      In most of the accidents it is really hard to come to terms with the horrific scene, blood, human flesh strewn all over, bodies cramped in broken metal chassis, in the cases of drowning the condition of the dead body is even worse, it is often decomposed to obnoxious state, smelling unbearably and worst partially eaten up by fishes, touching …come on.. even watching these bodies is testing. When even relatives find it hard to touch Dinkar comes to the rescue of the body. In case of suicide Dinkar will be there silently untangling the body from the rope it is hooked to, in difficult terrain also you will find Dinkar taking the body up, in remote places also Dinkar will be there taking the body on his shoulder walking 2-3 miles to hand over the body to relatives. Where nobody goes he reaches, where all helplines end his begins, what nobody could touch he carries it on his shoulders, when society is busy fighting along lines of caste, religion, language, region he is making bonds of humanity with bereaved family handing over them the dead body, when for almost everything we have to pay bribe he is on his way voluntarily.

      Dinkar lives near Kolhapur, works in a garage, has a small family and a large area of operation. He has so far handed over 1421 bodies, all met with unfortunate demise, untimely death in tragic circumstances. He is also a one man rescue army and has so far saved 275 lives. Mind boggling figures!! He was awarded with bravery award by Governor of Maharashtra for saving lives of five people swimming against, in the river with all encompassing swell and deadly flow. He goes deeper in ravines in search of any survivors in case of an accident involving a vehicle falling from altitude in dangerous terrain, he can also catch the deadly viper intruding in human colony saving both the animal and humans. He is a man who can do any kind of rescue operation. He has taken training, he is equally well updated with new rescue methods.

     It is really difficult to believe that somebody can do all this for no monetary gains, no glitter, no glamour, no accolades, and not much appreciation. He is involved in human tragedies which nobody would love to be part of. What drives him to do this, which handful will do for money, few will do out of compulsion but most will not do even for money? He sealed his involvement in such tragic incidents when he was 14 years. A tragedy happened in his family then. The wife of his brother fell in a well, she died but the body was stuck inside the well. It got badly decomposed, mutilated, swollen, parts eaten up and discharging intolerable stench. Nobody was ready to remove it from well even for Rs.5000. Finally Dinkar jumped in, carried the poor soul’s remains out of well. A new Dinkar was born there. He pledged to himself that he would now rescue not just human survivors but also soulless bodies.

     He does not stop here. He moves on his bike with a sticker ‘Emergency Life Saver’. He has started Disaster Rescue Life Guard Society to train likeminded men to build a team for such operations. For public awareness he organized a photo exhibition of his work. What we find hard even to watch he carries on his shoulder. He is a man with supreme sense of humanity with amazing control over his senses. Going through the list of people who get yearly awards by Govt. for contribution to society, I find myself stopped at some names, the question then surfaces is the glitter of glamour is the source of blindness of the Govt.? Fortunately there are men who are rendering selfless service to humanity with no expectation of appreciation.

     I am thankful to Lokprabha for saving space for Dinkar, giving us an inspiring story. I am at pain to feel that it took 1421 bodies and rescue of 275 survivors for an article that took his work to me. My sense of pride as a good newspaper reader is hurt that I missed about him, if something about him appeared, but it is even more tragic that the media also missed him in taking him to remote corner of not just Maharashtra but India.   

   He is a man with small family but huge heart. He hasn’t broken his tryst with destiny. He is carrying on his shoulder the burden most of us cannot bear. At least we must not carry the burden of indifference.

Dinkar Kamble : 9860945924

Reference: An article by Savita Nabar in Lokprabha Marathi weekly 1 June 2012

The Kaleidoscope

 
     This article was published in a daily couple of years back in middle space. Expressing my feelings about Kaleidoscope in just 550 words is difficult but then that was the limit. I am publishing it as it is.  

 The Kaleidoscope

            It was around six years back I was appointed as the in charge of the student’s body of the department of electronics. It was an assignment I was  interested in and was  very much associated with it but not as an in charge. An excellent opportunity for me to try out couple of new ideas. One of such activities was our wall magazine aptly named as Kaleidoscope. The concept was to provide a platform for the students to express their views freely.

            One of the most popular columns was of messages directed towards specific groups or student but often they were difficult to decipher. The hidden obscenity or indecent comments, if there were any, never came to our knowledge. But as a matter of fact it attracted lot of enthusiasts.

           When I took over I had a meeting with the editorial team and presented my views and expectations. The discussion concentrated more on increasing the readership of the wall magazine. They were interested in increasing the columns like message box to increase the TRP, so can be called. My point was we had two options either we should concentrate on the quality and didn’t bother about the readership or think of readership only and compromise the quality. The discussion revolved around what students wanted and what was good for them. I insisted on the quality. Finally it was decided to drop those so called popular but mostly obscure columns. We had since then maintained the uncompromising approach on the quality of content. Of course most satisfying part was they were convinced that it’s better to change  the taste of reader for good rather than changing for the bad taste.

           We have always had good editors. Very much keen on leading the team to high quality issues . Setting and crossing high standards every year. No need to say in the wall magazine competition we often won prizes.  Year by year every team worked very hard forming an undefined Kaleidoscope-bond amongst them. I also used to go to every classroom encouraging them to contribute to the wall magazine, discussing the merits of developing the presentation skills.

           One day a girl came to me and said, "Sir, you talk of quality of articles and advice us not to think of readership. What I will get then if I contribute?" A genuine  question. Good article but poor readership. No applaud. No crowd with loads of appreciation. My answer was you would get nothing except the opportunity to express your views on a public platform. It was difficult for her to adjust to the idea of writing for nothing for our very objective of work is always getting something out of it.

            Then I explained to her even if few were likely to read the article, it would improve her writing and presentation skills. You would write for yourself not for others. Set high standards for you and be self-satisfied. Interestingly, she was convinced.

            All those who were part of Kaleidoscope team have a sense of attachment. Even after passing out, in any communication with me,the first question is always about Kaleidoscope. It is still put on the walls, displaying colourful patterns of life, still not read by many but the learning, satisfaction and the belongingness it has given us is the asset lifetime.

Beyond The Wall

Beyond The Wall

     Finally the wall has moved forward, it will no longer block the three sticks and two locking bells placed on it. The three sticks the Wall protected for so many years, not just sticks but actually pride of a nation and a difference between fight and meek surrender. Above all the protector has decorum, sophistication and exceptional commitment to the game and admiration, respect for other players. The wall has finally packed up in his usual pleasant style, simple and elegant just like his cover drive, executed to supreme perfection, delightful to watch. A phone call to all the players he played with and announcement the next day. The breaking news was already flashing, the first comment came from the master, pouring huge praise on him, admitting proudly that nobody can be like Rahul Dravid, and that he shared some greatest moments of his career with him.

         A perfectionist and soft spoken, well mannered and polished, he was more of an elite in a game that was once citadel of gentlemen. In the stories of misconduct and arrogance on the field, his silent presence was always a stubborn rejoinder to attitudes devoid of sporting spirit. As a cricket lover I followed his career that saw ups and downs and so also my relationship with his game. It was a strange association that fluctuated in the initial phase but as I matured it consolidated. His debut in the swinging English environment where he just missed maiden century was certainly assuring but maiden century by Saurav stole the thunder. Nevertheless his solid defense was picked by critics. He looked promising but then cricket is the game of glorious uncertainties, many players show us the optimism but lose ground in the glamour and glitter or simply falter in tougher situations finding a smooth way into oblivion.

         As I look back, it’s really amazing to explore my attachment to him as a game lover. His career and my joining teaching field ran parallel. I joined the profession in 1992 and his test career started in 1996. As anybody would in the beginning I was somewhat immature, brash and to an extent low profile in approach. With the experience you mature and grow in profession. His debut was almost after four years of my start. I do remember feeling for the missed century of Rahul though Saurav glittered. My bent for the sympathy for those who miss inspite of great effort, pushed my heart in favour of Rahul. His voluminous records speaks volumes about him, his sound technique, strong defense, devotion and commitment to the game and pride of playing for the country has been praised by many but for me he was more than what his record books tell.

        He belonged to an upper middle class family having Maharashtrian origin, a mannerism subtly reflected in his appearance. Considering the background at home and the importance given to education a career in cricket is undoubtedly a distant dream. That his parents allowed the talent in him to blossom deserves accolades for them but more importantly the faith they showed and the support they gave for him to succeed must be imagined and appreciated, he being an intensely private person never spoke too much about it. One has to understand that allowing and backing up a career in cricket in India is a risk for the success is extremely elusive though glamour is irresistible. The middle class always seeks a secure future but they opted for uncertain road map must be owing to the confidence they posed in Rahul’s talents. The appreciation to them is overdue for the cultural and moral values they induced in him.

         The circumstances in which he took guard in test cricket were challenging for variety of reasons. He was searching for the opportunity in place of Sanjay Manjrekar, the batman regarded as the one with the best technique and temperament for test cricket, and he had the same but unproven strengths. Sachin was already playing and along with him was Ganguly with his king-size attitude.   Manjrekar with great technique, Sachin with all the ingredients of a player of generation and Saurav with gifted timing, calm, composed and with sound technique Rahul had a challenge which he accepted and made his presence felt in the debut.  

         He sealed his place in the test cricket at no.3 position. He was always the first hope and last also, in protecting three sticks at one end whenever we played on bouncy tracks in Australia, on the seaming pitches in South Africa and in swinging environment of Englind but in one day cricket he was never regarded as best fit rather was inducted as if it was inevitable. How funny it is that a batsman who has scored more than 10000 runs in one day format was never respected as one of the best one day player. I think here we find the greatness of Rahul.  Imagine a career in test cricket which was under the shadow of the maestro whose overpowering batting gave him God’s status and in one day fromat along with Sachin it was Ganguly who was dominating through his aggressive batting, attitude with arrogant overtones and a successful but belligerent captaincy. His batting style was considered best for the test but was always wanted in one day to protect one end, and never given credit for it.

            In his performance we tend to forget the psychological odds he has to fight against emanating from the indifference of fans, hard work he has to put and poor share in the appreciation. In such environment keeping high morale and maintaining highest level of concentration is not easy and worse it is never thought about since the fans are only interested in wins not on the mental conditioning needed for performing at such level. For us either we win or lose but for players like Rahul it is much more than that. Exploring his mind map makes me wonder how he managed all this. What pushed him to perform? Those who push themselves in tough psychological situations tend to be aggressive in mind as well as on field but he seemed to be mentally tough, well conditioned, highly motivated but calm and composed at the same time. How is it possible? A sign of greatness indeed. He unquestionably had a will of steel and a class, consistently delivering under the shadow of other great players. More work, important task but less lime light,  indifference of fans and occasionally a sacrificial lamb to owe failures, are these not enough to kill a talent, certainly, but not for Rahul, they seemed to have toughened him.

          When I look back I realize I always wanted him in the team but loved to watch Sachin on song and Saurav singing through off side. It was always delightful to watch, Sachin cutting, pulling and playing that impeccable awesome straight drive and Saurav stepping out lifting over the extracover. In tests, more often than not, he came very much as opener as first wicket fell too early. He maintained his own style of blunting the attack by solid defense. Initially I considered him as just a blocker but I needed him in dire situations. As I matured as a cricket fan I could listen his bat beautifully singing in the cover drive, his flawless flick of the pad and a cut through point. Sachin demoralized the opposition by colourful batting display, his used to be a sustained hurricane but Rahul was entrusted with stopping the hurricane that was bent on destroying Indian line up. Sachin was a thunderstorm that lasted long but Rahul was a beacon shielded in terrific technique and temperament, giving light of hope, but killing the opposition first by blunting the weapon and then catching them unawares by stacking runs through perseverance.

           His batting was like a thumari sung by a great classical performer in style, with great elegance, with all the subtle and delicate tones superbly rendered, somewhat slow but well composed. It doesn’t shake you but saddles you firmly in bliss. Apart from the connoisseurs most enjoy cracker of fast rhythm and tend to forget the slow delightful rendering. His marathon innings were slow in rhythm but not depleted of subtleties and elegance of great batting display. His fitness level was something that he needed for long innings which also remained unappreciated. A great team man did not shy away from donning keeper gloves for the team, something he did not want.

        The way in which Rahul has conducted himself on and off the field cannot come without an intellectual base. Whatever his background that he remained firmly rooted to ground maintaining highest standards of code of conduct, decent mannerism just reflect a thought provoked restless person. If Sachin’s batting is a spontaneous high power fountain of batting aggression Rahul’s batting signified an intellectual, thought provoking journey, more on the safer side for longer travel reflecting maturity, every ball analyzed, treated with respected and a bad delivery dispatched to boundary but not with disdain but superior intellectual authority.

       No wonder he was the only speaker in the den of Great Bradman who spoke to the spellbound audience in previous Australia tour with great confidence, supreme intellectual flavor and above all a national pride defending Indian cricket, the role he relentlessly played throughout his long career, against the allegations ranging from quality to money spinning industry. When I think of him these are the intellectual prowess’s that fascinate me. I am sure his mental and physical fitness which he maintained against all odds had behind it an immaculate thought process, analytical in nature, cultured in character and decent in expression. He played his innings with devotion, dedication and above all dignity. 

      In his retirement also he remained as dignified and as grateful as one can be. In one of the article in Loksatta by Bishmraj Bam, he questions we will get talented players but will we get a player as committed and as loyal as Rahul Dravid. Difficult is my honest answer. His batting flourished against odds and intellect blossomed in testing conditions. Apart from  batting he remains a less mapped man but it is his hidden intellectual journey that mesmerizes me. Rahul’s records prove beyond doubt that he belonged to a league of the best in history of the game but I think it is also time for us to look at Rahul as a superior intellectual and tall human being colourfully imaged beyond the records.

Thank you Rahul.     

The Gift

    This article  was published in a daily as middle space (550words limit) around two years back. As suggested by one of my student Ravi that I should share this with readers of my blog, I am posting it. It was supposed to be posted on 13/03 as per his insistence but anyway its better ...

The Gift

           The infamous summer of Chandrapur was scorching the city like a toast in the microwave oven. The last phase of examination of final year BE, the viva-voce of project, was over. The summer vacation had already begun.  I was about to leave the college after finishing the work when I got a call from a student of final year.  “Sir, I want to meet you. Are you free now?”asked the student.  “Tomorrow.” I replied. Next day she came to the department. I was in relaxed mood. She started with expected reference to the final phase of her graduation. She said she was thankful to me for my help in last three years. As usual I said it was part of my duty but anyway it was nice that I was of any help to her.

       “Sir, I have a gift for you kindly accept it. It will be a real pleasure for me if you say yes.”  I immediately responded with usual no with due explanation. Something of this kind was not new to me. I have always maintained not to accept any gift from the students not concerning what others do or whether it is right or wrong. In fact everybody has a justification for accepting or rejecting it. I explained to her that I didn’t want to hurt her sentiments but I didn’t want to set wrong precedent either.

          I always felt that some student may honestly feel for you , would like to have a gift for you but once the gift is accepted the message may percolate down, wrongly projecting it as a way of possible fine-tuning with the teacher. A part of teacher management skills of student. Considering the internal marks in the authority of professors some students of engineering colleges tend to use all the tricks in the book to please them even though these tricks do not always work necessarily.

         She said she was aware of the fact that I didn’t accept gift but insisted on accepting pointing to the fact that with final examination over ,  I had no marks to give, so no hidden element of vested interest. “It’s only an acknowledgement of your contribution to my life. Sir, you have inspired me. I owe a lot to you.”  It put me in a state of total surprise. I was aware of the respect she had for me but this was very much startling. She then clarified that in one of the sessions of debaters club that she attended I talked about the importance of communication skill, group discussion. I casually remarked then that if I could do this why couldn’t anybody. It gave her immense confidence that helped her in campus interviews. Eventually she got good placement in Infosys.

           I somehow convinced her that the gift she had brought for me could be purchased from the market but the real gift would be if she remembers me as a good teacher in years to come. This is the gift that nobody can purchase in the market. She went taking back the gift but not without teaching me a permanent lesson on the power of word spoken by a teacher for what I unintentionally uttered became an inspiration. The faith and respect she had expressed in me still overwhelms me.

(This is based on a true incident. The student got married recently.She invited me to the wedding reception which I attended happily.)

Not About Wine

       

Not About Wine

     “Parag, the day you die, I am sure you will knock the doors of heaven but I am equally confident that you will be sent back. The reasons are simple but obvious. You don’t smoke, don’t drink and even don’t eat meat. At the doors itself you will be denied the entry saying that you haven’t done anything on Earth what would you do here? Just go back” He was on high. Couple of pegs in and he was on his favourite theory. He never forces me to have one which has blown him but he always is extremely optimistic about me joining him one day, for which he is ready to wait indefinitely. For me it is always a fun to be part of a party where this strange liquid gets into the mind through stomach. I have no idea what those who jump in to it experience but I do enjoy watching them swimming in the realm of their dreams, despair, sentiments, emotions, successes, failures and there are some who maintain great composure irrespective of how much they pour inside. Reticent bursting into great orator, arid men breaking down, some locked in colourful past, some travelling in golden future, the optimistic taking a highly negative line and pessimistic resoundingly advocating positive thinking, someone accidently getting on to singing the old Kishorkumar hits, jokes after jokes coming from one, all timeline exposed, reinvented, some simply knocked out… it is all due to the magical spell of that extraordinary liquid pushing them into a world, they say, fantastic, awesome that makes peace with mind and body.

     Life is really strange journey just making you move along unknown route in a world you never imagined. Belonging to a family with no background of drinking wine, and associated with it sinful activity tag, I abhorred men with wine. As a child for me wine and sin were partners. In the engineering being away from home without any kind of restrictions I had great opportunities to taste it but then I had no attraction for it. The time and experience taught me not to be prejudiced about it and those who drink it. After graduation and joining the college I got associated with number of friend circles. In every group there were men with glasses in their hands. In the beginning there were attempts in encouraging me to have ‘Cheers’ but then I developed no appeal for it but certainly no aversion for those who drink. And didn’t think it in anyway a sinful act. I stood by the logic that the day I feel I should have it; you will find a glass in my hand with a promise that you will foot the bill. But till them let me have fun in just accompanying you in this great voyage. This in fact was the hope behind his wait.

          One day it must have been around 9pm I got a call from my optimistic friend. His voice ecstatic, was in inebriated state and as usual started talking to me with great excitement. Before he said anything I said, “You seems to be having a great time.” Yes came the reply but he had different agenda. He started, “You know Parag what Gaalib says,”Sharab pine de Masjid me baithkar, ya woh jagah bata janha khuda nahi” ( Allow me to drink in  place of worship else show me a place where God does not exist).” He continued dragging this to his favourite theory but I was stunned by the brilliant lines written by Gaalib. I don’t understand much about Urdu poetry but love Jagjit Singh singing gazals. Knowing very well that there was no possibility of him reading any book of Gaalib’s poetry I just wanted to know where he read. The answer came, to my great surprise Facebook. Just thought it might be a page dedicated to the great poet.

        I couldn’t log on to facebook to read it immediately but the fascination was unstoppable. The lines were simply brilliant. Allow me to drink at place which we consider place of God else show me a place where He is not there. Absolutely stunning. What a way to tell that God is everywhere. It overwhelms us. It tells us that we go to place of God and worship but fail to experience His existence everywhere. But then what’s the point in going there if we miss Him elsewhere? It is painfully disturbing as the message is bluntly conveyed. It strikes our comfort zone, forces us to see the world as it is. Challenges us to travel inward, just for self assessment, reminding us to our extreme discomfort that we go to place of God and immediately forget his omnipresence out of it.

    The more I thought of it more meaningful it became. Why was he referring to wine? What message he wanted to convey? Existence of God everywhere? There are lot of religious scriptures for this. Then why wine? Reference to place of God, what it has to do with drinking wine? I was pushing my imagination farther and farther. All of a sudden breaks were applied; the process of thinking came to standstill. Yes… it’s a comment on our hypocrisy. Nobody drinks wine at a place of God but is Gaalib really interested in wine only. No he is referring to an act not allowed at place of God, symbolic mention of sinful act?.. We all indulge in sinful acts but go to place of God, feel complacent about it, revert back to normal life, miss God everywhere and continue indulgence in sinful acts but certainly not at a place of God for we fear his wrath. We are not averse to anything sinful to achieve personal interests but don’t want anybody to know it. Can it be hidden from God if he is everywhere? We want God but for personal gains, only at a fixed place but don’t want to acknowledge His omnipresence, or maybe we want to forget it conveniently so that we can continue with our routine. Anything less that hypocrisy?   

    Just two lines giving us chilling reminder of our hypocritical attitude. Brilliant, just fantastic. I was now desperate to log on to facebook. When I logged on there were two more couplets, one by Iqbal and other by Faraz. Iqbal says, as if replying to Gaalib, “Masjid Khuda ka ghar hai, pine ki jagah nahi,  Kafir ke ghar ja vanha Khuda nahi”( Place of prayer is a place of God, it’s not for drinking, go to house of non-believer He doesn’t live there). But who is a non-believer? Almost everyone believes in God. There are few who do not believe but they are in minority. Some pretend to be non-believer but in the event of crisis turn to God or some simply maintain two faces, atheist for claiming special intellectual position at public and believer in private. Nonetheless the true atheists are rare. So, you rarely find a place where He doesn’t exist. But does Iqbal want us to search for non-believer’s place and then drink, as  you won’t find God there.

      No. What the poet wants to say is different. If we continue with the sinful act interpretation then the non-believer is the one at his house sinful act is committed. In fact the question hidden in the simple lines by Iqbal is who is a believer? Answer is one who does not commit sinful act for it is committed only at non-believer’s place. It is a question that Iqbal wants all of us to ask ourselves. Am I a believer? What will be the honest answer? To be a true believer no sinful act anywhere. No need to share the answer with anybody, a poetic way of self assessment. Gaalib wants us to realize the presence of God everywhere and we should not be hypocritical about it and Iqbal, he questions our faith. We cannot maintain duplicity of being sinful and believer at the same time. See any difference in what Gaalib says and what Iqbal wants ourselves to assess? In fact apart from the poetic presentation the core issue addressed by them is same, put differently with exceptional brilliance.

        The poetic journey is not over yet. Faraz simply stumps us by saying,” Kafir ke dil se aya hun main, yeh dekh kar, Khuda maujud hai vanha, use pata nahi” ( I have seen non-believer’s heart, he doesn’t know but God exists there). OMG. Brilliant… Stunning. Completely captures the imagination. Non believer doesn’t know but the God exists in his heart. Is it for non-believer or for us to see that God is everywhere, in the believer and non-believer as well? Can we see His presence in all the human being, believer, non-believer? And more importantly in oneself. Can we feel his presence in us? These are all uncomfortable questions. Personal interests, sinful acts all vanish if we see Him everywhere, in the heart of all. Will hate survive if God is seen in the heart of so called adversary? Is Faraz speaking a language differet than Gaalib and Iqbal? No. They speak the same language of humanity.

      Gaalib challenges us to show a place where God does not exist, so that he can drink there, Iqbal shows the place where God doesn’t exist and you can drink, a reference to non-believer, and Faraz tells about the ignorance of non-believer about the presence of God in him. But this is not about wine and drinking, it is all about our hypocrisy in believing in God and conveniently ignoring His omnipresence in committing sinful act for self interest. It’s about humanity expressed in brilliant way, and here lies the greatness of these poets, and their splendid imagination.     

         

..Not Guilty

..Not Guilty

     Huge tall doors make sound, a young man of 32 comes out of a small door carved in the bigger one. None of us need any prompting to help understand what those doors mean. The smart handsome man steps out. Looks back, lifting his chin to see the top of the door, walks silently but in style. A friend, a close relative is waiting for him, he completes his walk, a style statement as well, gives a great hug, eyes shine, tears appear, roll down the chicks. His face exhibits the satisfying, calm look, revealing a sense of relief. The destiny has finally swung in his favour, the truth has prevailed, the man was declared not guilty by the court a day ago and is now a free man. Breathing fresh air, hugging relatives. At home parents wait for him with wet eyes and somewhere in the remote corner two beautiful eyes are killing time with overflow of mixed emotions, every second is worth hundred years, desperate to end the wait which is definitely in sight, the deserted look in the eyes are gone. An atmosphere filled with emotions, sentiments, romance, relief, all the stuff needed to captivate the audience. It could have been a storyline of an Amirkhan movie, perfectly setting the scene for the great flashback, keeping all of us spellbound in the expectation of a interesting unfolding story. But not any more for Mohammad Amir.

      His story also travels along a similar path to an extent... a handsome man of 32, walking free after acquittal by court... but unfortunately follows the trajectory of a tragedy. He is out of the jail but after spending unenviable 14 long years in it, went in at 19 after arrest by police. He is declared not guilty by court but has lost more than count of fourteen years. His father left this mortal world, mother paralyzed, almost all the assets exhausted in trial, and his youth lost in the tall confined walls. As he comes out, he has for his welcome deserted youth, destroyed education, uncertain future and worst a stigma of a traitor that he was forced to adorn for all these 14 years. His father ran a toy business. He was to join the family business. One morning he was on his way to market, a green gypsy moved parallel to him. Before he could understand anything he was picked up by the police. He was arrested as suspect in the serial blast that took place in New Delhi in 1997.

    One Pakistani national was also arrested in the same connection. The chargesheet claimed that he was an LeT operative, he had been to Pakistan for training in arms and ammunition, learned to make and explode bombs and was involved in serial blasts that shook Delhi in 1997. He says he was tortured, beaten up in an isolated cell and finally forced to confess his role in the blast. He admits that he had been to Pakistan for visiting his elder sister who lives in Karachi where he had to prolong his stay for more than a month as he contracted jaundice there. His defense is he went to Pakistan eight to nine months after the blast, making a point as how could he have got training after the blast. All the charges against me are fabricated, false and police have framed me in this case, argues Amir. The court gave verdict in his favour, he now is pronounced innocent but the question is, is the justice done? He spent 14 years in jail, lost all his youth in confinement, today he is innocent but at what cost?

            The financial condition is in shambles, mother in vegetative health what the future holds for him? What are the options left for him?  If he is not guilty then what about those fourteen long years in custody? What is compensation for it or rather can that be compensated? The story of Amir appeared in Indian express almost fifteen days back. In our country of billions one youth with destroyed future is not going to get the headlines but headline or not he has his life ahead of him, a small world cracking under the impact of systemic apathy, his trial hasn’t ended, it simply has began the day verdict was given. All the talk of justice done or denied converges at questions like what’s next? Who is responsible for the punishment he had been through for no crime of his? Who will rise for him? Community leaders, NGOs, humanitarian organizations, but can the govt. escape responsibility? One question leads to another without an answer that can address the woes of Amir.

     The fundamental question is why was he arrested? Was he arrested only because he belonged to a particular community? Whenever there is a terrorist attack all we do is search for the suspects in a particular community. When the pressure mounts on the police the arrests are made and are often done recklessly. The Malegaon and Samzauta Express investigation later revealed that the culprits were different from the initial arrest. To some extent it is understandable that the police search for the suspect in area with high probability but what if the arrests are made under public pressure, just to save skin? All that the society needs is an immediate solution to any investigation, once some people are behind the bar the public outcry stops, the society forgets everything, after fourteen years when somebody like Amir comes out there is no outcry, no sympathy for him. Do we really expect that only his society should stand for him? Is his case a community issue or a humanitarian issue that needs attention of whole society? What about our judicial system that took 14 years for declaration of innocence of a man languishing in jail? He almost has served a term for no fault of his.

     There are some broader concerns about the behavior of society. As a society we tend to victimize a particular community in the wake a blast, an assassination or a terrorist attack. When Indira Gandhi was assassinated there was violence against Sikhs. Hundreds were killed in the riots. When we hear of blast in our first thoughts we try to relate the crime to a community. We tend to believe that all of them are sympathizers of terrorists, a notion politically suitable but detrimental to the social harmony. Terrorists don’t belong to any religion for the bomb that goes off does not differentiate people on the basis of religion, caste, creed; it just destroys everything that falls in its striking range. They are only criminals. Any religious, community labels only generate hatred and it is often counterproductive. It also tends to set dangerous trends, under pressure police tend to make arrests just to cool impatient society. It is always easy, make arrests from a community labeled as compassionate towards the terrorists. Society is not surely going to wait for the final verdict of court. It only is content with the quick fix solution of arrests. The system is aware of this; the reason why men like Amir suffer. It is always easy to support the laws like POTA but when its juggernaut flattens hopes of an innocent to get justice, a ground fertile for the germination of seeds of new breed of terrorists becomes available.

                                                                                            

        We are not the only society that responds like this. After 9/11 even in the developing world the reaction about the Arabs was one of terrorist. Anybody wearing turban was instantly looked with suspicion. In the crisis we respond in different ways. First we try to get closer to the community we belong to. Once safe we search for the people responsible for it. Then the answers are sought in the communities whom those people belong to. It is then followed by hatred and victimization of community. In the process the dreams of men with no privileges are lost without any mention. Since the answers are sought at wrong place we don’t find them, and when the reality points to an uncomfortable zone, planting of stories begin, facts are twisted to suit the political agenda. Minorities start feeling insecure, majorities become belligerent, ultimately opportunists make merry and fabric of social harmony gets damaged. The so called developed world is no exception. The cycle of violence breaks only when a leader with strong will and better vision takes lead.

      Amir’s case is a representative of systemic apathy, societal indifference, political neglect but for an individual it is a matter of life ahead. His arrest must have made headlines but his acquittal did not. A story on the second page is what a fortunate mention he got. Saif’s martial art exploits in a restaurant hit the headlines, the Tv channels were filled with breaking news of the insignificant brawl, allegations and counter allegations just flew around, columns were wasted in print media… simply because we read. The associated glamour blinds us.

Amir … unmentioned, forgotten…left to himself sits in the single room …looks in the dark... for a ray of hope… a thread to a future… safe and satisfying…

Will he ever hit the headline?

** Based on a news in Indian Express dated 8^th February 2012 by Vijaita Singh**

The Hunt

       

The Hunt

     We the Homo sapiens are the most evolved creature on the planet earth. In the process of evolution we travelled from caves to cities, we communicated by gestures then but now on mobile, we moved on foot then whereas now we can plan a journey to different planets in space, we went through cultural fusion, cultural invasion, cultural transformation, different civilizations flourished, some survived, some vanished, some metamorphosed, some remained only in history, some defied timeline and made history. The caveman hunted to survive, with the passage of time he  stopped hunting in open to quell hunger but the initial instincts of hunting remained. Not just dormant but very much alive manifesting itself time and again in the history. The killer remained inside though the target changed, the animal instinct of brute force did not vanish, it just waited for the opportunity which came frequently. Killing for survival to killing for fun this is how we travelled, we killed also to gain, maintain, and establish power. We embarked upon the unending path of inventing arsenals of mass destruction to the extent of endangering our own existence on the planet.

   There also came voices that taught love, affection, equality, we did our best to discredit them, punish them, outcast them but they went on with indomitable spirit. More than two thousand years ago one such human descended on earth. He preached humanity, service as worship of God, prayer to appeal Him to forgive our sins. It was the time when modern concept of humanity was yet to arrive but all the pain, suffering in the sea of humans was very much there. The establishment then saw in him a challenge to their power; they framed him, tried him, and finally crucified him. He died in pain but prayed for the killers that God should forgive them. He invited suffering for the humanity. The hunt began. Anybody who stood for humanity was targeted, anybody who stood for common man was hunted, those who claimed the truth through experiments and observations also met with the same fate as Galileo met.

     The only superpower that exists today was once a nation divided, with a stigma of slavery. Then came one of the greatest presidents of that nation and also one of the tallest world leaders, who was also a leader charismatic. He ended slavery, brought an end to inhuman practice, elevated the nation to high moral ground the legacy which it still falsely claims. He delivered most quoted speech in the history of that country, the Gettysburg address. It claimed the dedication of that country to the principles of nationalism, equal rights, liberty, and democracy. As he sat in a theater he was assassinated. A man, a leader who stood for human spirit was silenced. The hunt was relentless. It claimed another who spoke about elevation of humans to high moral ground.

   The same country witnessed similar assassination of a president who famously said in his speech as to think what you can do for your country and not what the country should do for you. He met with the same end. But there also was a man who derived inspiration from life and teachings of greatest humanitarian of the century who was a half naked frail looking but stubborn man inseparable with truth and nonviolence. He had a dream of the country that rejected disparity, opposed divisive policies based on colour. He fought for the rights of those who were discriminated against by virtue of their colour. He had a dream that one day all men would be equal. He fought with strict adherence to the non violence. The man who made history and would have changed it for better, while standing in a balcony  a bullet pierced through his chick down his spine, the king of human spirit was hunted. Our hunt for better souls claimed one more.

     But at the top of the list sit undisputed, we the people of India who hunted the greatest humanitarian of the century. That great soul evolved from man to mahatma as he fought for our rights in South Africa. He led the nation to freedom through non violent method. Till then the only way known was armed rebellion. He changed it. He believed in change of heart, faith in human spirit, equality of religion, multicultural, plural society, was unconventional in social approach, was eclectic in choosing from the religious texts of all religions, searched for the truth, remained committed to non violence. When our national boundaries were drawn with blood lines he was travelling in area that was burning, full of bloodbath, slaughter….he was not celebrating. He was putting his life to danger to calm people down, to tell that violence, vengeance would lead to nothing; he was ready to stake everything he had moral strength and power of self-suffering just to quell riots.

  He did it. Action in Pakistan and reaction in India saw thousands dead. A mindless mob killing innocents, these killings then driving another mob to seek revenge, to again kill innocents mindlessly, the cycle leads only to destruction, it never acts as a deterrent, it only spreads fear, hatred. The mahatma made the difference, made Hindus and Muslims realize this senseless violence will took then to nowhere. He did it. He stopped riots. His teachings became inspiration for the whole world and what we did, we hunted him. He was moving on to his prayers, a fanatic, driven by false assessment of historical events, pulled the trigger shot dead a man more than seventy five. The hunt claimed the best. We proved that we are the best at such hunt for we claimed the priceless scalp putting us on the top. The great soul who only would have helped the deprived live a better life, who would have strived for the religious equality, who would have fought for the rights of common man was silenced forever.

      Once at the top there was no way we would have turned back. Over the time we did our best to hunt anybody who stood for the common man, deprived lot. A leftist play writer who was using the drama, street play to expose ruling elite, was killed in our capital when he was performing on street. He was attacked, killed brutally. A message was sent to all not to challenge the establishment. A man who believed in people’s awareness through theater and literature was hunted down.

      Not long ago an inspired soul from IIT and an IIM alumnus took the wrong turn. They challenged the mafias, tried to expose the corrupt practices, they became whistleblowers in the national plunder in the road construction and in petroleum industry, silenced forever they were by hired assassins, once again a strong message, don’t ever dare stand against the corrupt, else you are sealing your fate.

     Jesus Christ, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King,…. Great leaders, Safdar Hashmi… activist, Manjunath Shanmugam, Satyendranath Dubey … professionals … all were hunted. The list is too long to be published, the data too much to be searched for but the underlining common factor they were for the larger good for the humanity, their historical significance is known but common thread is missed. They were hunted for what they stood for. We are the best here also. Albert Einstein felt that it would be difficult to believe that a man like Gandhi ever lived upon this earth and we continued our hunt by trying to justify the assassination of Mahatma.

     Can an assassination ever be justified? That too of a man who for all his life fought for the common man, stubbornly stuck to the principles of Truth and non violence, believed in equality of all religions, put his life at stake to calm rioting mobs? We all educated, qualified people are bent on believing in perverted history  proposed by those who do not believe in secular India, but are not ready to have a look at the life of Mahatma. We don’t want to have a non political look. We don’t want to learn from the history that Pakistan built on singular religious identity did not progress and in fact Bangla Desh separated, a big blow to two nation theory. We still want to make the killer a hero on facebook? The world salutes him and we mock him. What a pity but he still is a source of inspiration. There still are many who are deriving energy from his life and serving country.

     His assassination in fact proved once and forever that the voice of non violent struggle is most difficult to stifle. The hunt may continue, and I am sure it will but there will always be Ann Sang Sue Kyi leading  a non violent struggle for democracy, Nelson Mandela fighting against the apartheid. ….Martin Luther King will always inspire….. The hunt will continue… the legacy of Mahatma will also live on….and .. yes also the indomitable spirit of non violent struggle for the just cause….and service to humanity….         

      

     

      

           

One Splendid Sun

One Splendid Sun

                 Early morning, reading news paper, relaxing on a chair seeping hot tea in winter is always a great idea. Our mood can swing for positive reading a fascinating story; we can get disturbed by news   of tragedy. The freshness we can draw from this morning ritual does not necessarily sustain but can be of help in gossip, discussion on political issues. Now a day even if the competition between architects of different scams and the investigation is won by thugs we are able to maintain our interest in the news related to corruption. Indeed it is in itself a big thing. Our news papers are overflowing with this plunder of national assets. Add to it the accidents, murders, dowry deaths, honour killings, discrimination it becomes so difficult to find a news motivating, inspiring. Some so called great achievements, to our disappointment later turn out to be manufactured. We in fact are content with the information we get. Even if inspiring news appears it is often lost in the chaos of unpleasant news.

              Yesterday was different, I was reading Lokmat daily. While turning the pages just saw a familiar face of Shri Vasudeorao Chorghade. He is a man of great intellect, has prodigious knowledge of Sanskrit, is well versed in our heritage of repository of spiritual texts. That was the spiritual section like speaking tree. The article was on the sun. It referred to the selfless spirit of the sun as interpreted by great Saint Dnyaneshwar and some other saint poets. It treats it as an entity performing duty every day with no desires, no expectations, returns for the services rendered never sought. It rises every morning, showers its divine light on the earth, gives energy to life, shines for the whole day, does not expect from the smartest creature on the earth any kind of appreciation, starts packing up in the evening, collects all its rays, and recedes slowly only to come back next day for duty. Just work, no aspiration for success, no expectation, no hope, just a responsibility shouldered with unchallenged integrity. Neither optimism of appreciation nor pessimism of neglect, just divine duty, perform and forget. Be at peace at the end and no dip in the zeal next day, comes with new vigor to shower its bounty. What an example of a role model for following the philosophy of Geeta. 

             As said in our philosophy just perform your duty, don’t get obsessed by the desire for outcome. Just do it, be at self tranquility, seek solitude in duty and leave everything to that Divine spirit.  In modern world when all of us are motivated by me and mine, when our world starts and ends at family, when we are accustomed to do everything for something in return which is often disproportionate to our services, when duty without desire is beyond imagination, when selfless service is a utopian notion and service without personal interest is a fool’s compliment, finding an example like this is next to impossible. Why example of the Sun then by saints? Is it the acknowledgement of human limitations that the personal peripheries we draw are impossible to cross? Is it that our worldly desires don’t let us search for the divinity in selfless service? And the truth is that our prayers, appeal to divinity, expectations of divine intervention are all for prosperity of me and mine. Then how we will be able to even touch the boundary of selfless service?

       The reality is that apart from some great souls nobody in this world has succeeded in rendering the service with no self interest, no desire for appreciation. But then what’s the problem in being driven by personal interest, desire to succeed? There is no problem, the difficulty starts when we get obsessed with the coveted success, begin encroaching upon rights of others, focus on end but lose morality of means, the trouble starts when we find it hard to digest the defeat, and when we lose mental peace just to achieve our goal. Can then we achieve our goals without this? May be or May be not but do we find tranquility and peace of mind when we achieve our goal or just feel lonely or just celebrate physically but find ourselves confined to solitude or lose peace for the next goal and fail to live moment of joy? Difficult indeed it is to find a straight question and a simple answer. But I am sure all of you will agree if we truly give our best and can detach from the desire of the outcome, we can enjoy our work, we can find our mind at absolute peace, neither fear of failure nor euphoria of success, and we are full of energy for the next step. Just a little thought on this, it is clear that we have a way but it’s really difficult to walk along, even think of it and my personal experience is, neither I try this out nor I want to try. 

       This philosophical interpretation apart, thinking about the sun is fascinating, inspiring and motivating. Sometimes we get up early morning and just feel boredom, low energy, want to skip the work.  There may be variety of reasons and we are extremely smart in building castles of justification around us when we want to escape the responsibility, I am not an exception. What about the sun, it never stops rising from the east. It is doing this from time immemorial. Relentless in efforts, undamped in spirit. Occasionally there are hurdles, the clouds blocking the sun from showering its energy on earth but it toils for the whole day, at the end stops its work only to resume next morning, to have a go next day, impassive  to the failures of the day. It’s really fascinating to look at it from this perspective.

        It does not differentiate. It does not understand the differences of black and white, Hindu, Muslim, Christian, does not understand what the caste is and has no idea how region and languages generate hatred. We are the most intelligent creatures on this planet may be the reason we are better at differing than seeking convergence at humanity. How funny is it? We always claim of being intelligent but unable to find a common platform of humanity, pain, suffering, sorrow and joy as well. We are at our best in dividing and worst at uniting. The sun knows only one action and that is of delivering service. Whatever may be the identity it will not search for the minute details, and then decide whether to shower that light or not. It just showers and showers tirelessly.

         It is always focused on its work, full of attention, no deviation from line of duty. What we all find hard to do, it does it naturally, without any fuss. For us it is an unending challenge to keep focus, we have more reasons to lose focus than point it on our goal. Obstacles, attractions, personal reasons, interpersonal relations, emotions, hatred, personal ambition, diversions of mind, temptations, lethargy, ….list is big enough. All contribute to the loss of focus but it seems the sun transcends all these human limitations, maintains unbelievable focus,… rises early morning, burns whole day, cools in the evening, gets back only to come back… and resume.

         The sun exemplifies the spirit with which we must approach our life, our goals. But a thought, a little aberration, what if all of us become just like the sun? Everybody focused, no diversions, no temptations, no differentiations, no desire, no expectations…nothing except duty. Won’t the world then be inert? Won’t it lose all the colours we are fascinated with? The fun, the good, the evil all add to the richness of our experiences. Will then all of us become mechanical? No it is not going to happen. Being focused means focused to responsibility and not devoid of emotions, it means emotional weaknesses don’t become impediments, we control our temptations. We are not driven by the obsession of success; we don’t encroach upon rights of others just to succeed.

        The sun only shows us how to detach from the desire, how to maintain peace and tranquility, how to remain focused, how not to differentiate. Understanding the sun, learning from it can only enrich our life. We won’t be losing our colours, we will only be making this world less struggling, less competitive, less discriminatory, more peaceful, more meaningful, full of service to humanity. This is not a sermon, not an advice, not  personal experience, but sharing, sharing of the firm belief that given the dominance of vices in me an attempt to follow even fractionally from the message radiating from the life of the sun can push me on a way that leads to humanity. The world then will always be good to me, complementing in my services and I will be a better human being.

           Next time when we experience heat in the summer and expect it to be little cool which is difficult, when we expect it to be little warm in the winter in the chilling cold which is not easy, don’t blame it, just remember the sun has nothing against us it is only adhering to the responsibility entrusted upon it by mother nature.  Appreciate the splendid sun, learn from it, respect it. 

The Friends List

The Friends List

         How many friends you have on facebook? A simple question from my daughter hit me. Six hundred and seventy three and growing was my reply. She shrugged, was blunt in saying it should by now have crossed one thousand since you have been in the teaching field for more than 19 years. True, but I know there is no effort from my side. I just accept the request and rarely send. Most are my students, so I prefer to wait for them to want me on the list rather than encroaching upon their space. I am content and happy about my list that interestingly does not have some of my closest friends for they are not on facebook and those who joined, are not active. Almost all are my students, they are my friends as well, and I am very much happy about it.

        My social networking ventures started with Orkut which I reluctantly joined. It was Vikas Jha who insisted that I should be there. My feeling was, it’s a space where students would be expressing freely, and my presence would either restrict their free space or make me uncomfortable. But he persisted, finally I was on Orkut, he posted first scrap. Soon many more joined. Then facebook came and Orkut became obsolete. My activity was limited to accepting friend requests, replying messages, rarely I updated my status but friends’ list swell with addition almost every day. The most pleasant part being I could connect with students who passed out more than six-seven years back and was totally cut off with them.

        I just find it hard not to compare with my college days. Then there were no cell phones, no emails, no social networking. Now it is really easy to connect to friend, update about status, send message not just to one but to many more at a time. The invention of new English, new words like ‘u’, ‘gr8’…. , less rules, it has become easy to communicate. The thrust is on what we want to convey, not on minute details. With fewer options we spent hours discussing, chatting whenever we met. After passing out the lethargy in writing letter killed many a relations. All classmates of engineering, college went in chosen directions, different, diverse and in this world with me at Chandrapur, almost little chance of crossing along, many friends remained only in memories.

  On the other side I kept myself with a small group in engineering. We enjoyed everything, ‘watching birds old and new’, gossip, discussion on all kinds of topics. Latest movies, political discussion which used to be fierce given our different but strong opinions and ideological inclinations, emotional sharing on heartbreak, ECG of others, optimistic glances on the ‘Latest….. and the …… oldest’, all this was part of friendship. There also were clash of egos, misunderstanding leading to cracks in friends. Some fortunately got sealed others remained without patch up. After passing out with not many easier options many failed to survive. In future if some are destined to cross surely a spark will be there to ignite but then that will be the test of relations. Whether it succeeds in igniting the passion will ultimately depend upon the unseen, dormant warmth left in between when all these years passed by.

      Nevertheless those survived the test of time matured a great deal and some new relations were built and are now part of enriched relational sphere. The social networking sites helped to get connected to students who are my friends on my facebook account. The big list is always a matter of pride and a kind of satisfaction but some very close relations sustained without these sites. It is now easy to make friends. You can easily get in regular touch, exchange mails, share emotions, update status, all help in building relations. Lucky…. we all.

        The friends list was on my mind. I was reading a story in the times of India (11/01/2012) of a girl from Nagpur. She failed in exams couple of times; she had an altercation with parents, a scene not very much new to her. That day it was little more  fierce. She immediately shared it with her close friend. She went her home. Stayed there, decided to come back home but her friend wanted her to stay at her home but she left. On her way she got a call from friend that her (friend’s) mother wanted to talk to her. She went back. She was consoled by mother and given a proposal to go to a place in other state with her for couple of days. She agreed and went. Her nightmare started, she was abused and an attempt was made to push her in flesh trade but the relentless efforts from her brother rescued her. In all these dirty designs her friend was an accomplice. She did not divulge any information to her brother rather kept culprits in loop about his efforts. A shocking story of a girl leaving home, that went horribly wrong. Her so called close friend betrayed her. How terribly she misread her intentions? How difficult it really is to read people? She confided with friend about her problems but the friend thrown her to wolves. How can she make friend like this? 

         My mind forced me  to revisit the idea of a friend. Who is a friend? Any difference between an acquaintance and a friend? Knowing.. dose it mean having a friendship? How will one define friendship? It simply cannot be defined. This disturbing story apart it is a wonderful relation that defies everything age, gender, caste, religion… the only condition, we must feel it, understand it, realize what it meant to be a friend. The more we feel, deeper we think, better we understand, the difficult we find to have a friend and become one, a true well wisher, with no open demands, no hidden interests, just pure sense of well being and selflessness. How to find such true friend? No one can, these are the relations that evolve over the time, mature through sharing, help and understanding. The most interesting thing about this undefined relation is if it exists between any two blood relations or family relations or professional relations or simply any two relations then those relations blossom. Father being a great friend of children…. And so on.

       The friendship is always based on mutual trust, a belief that he/she can understand me. A student of mine who is in regular touch with me, once  called, in the following discussion he referred to another student working in IT sector. Both are in regular contact, the common platform being love for debate. He just remarked that it has been days since they had any discussion. He did call the friend but did not get reply, not then and afterwards as well. He then directly questioned the intentions. He was hurt that there was no response from the friend and that he suspected that being intentional. He was doubtful of the friendship that was more than four years old, with all good, funny and wonderful experiences.

       I told him that this was the test of your friendship. If you have any doubt that the friend is acting like this with bad intent then you were never friends. You must have strong belief that the friend could not find time to talk to you or might have missed it inadvertently. As a friend you must have that much of faith. In friendship it is not important how many times you meet, how much you talk but a strong feel of bonding in spite of not meeting and talking. That belongingness, faith and mutual trust are basic elements of friendship. You suspect the intentions and allow misunderstanding to encroach, the friendship will decline leading to unfortunate demise. Just a call not returned can create rift then that is not friendship. Have faith, don’t fall prey to misunderstanding and kill the friendship. The test of time is this. If it survives situations like this then it will mature else it will get a decent burial for which you then will not be responsible. A small, unintentional response can induce distrust and we find friends parting ways.

      The problem is simple we are not ready to understand what this relationship expects. We don’t allow it to mature, we burden it with loads of expectations but actually it is never about expecting, it is always about believing, having faith. We expect, then suspect, conclude and finally pay the price by losing a friend. Becoming a friend and having one is not an easy task but then this also puts to question whether the social networking sites are trivializing this wonderful relation. We just go on adding friends, request for friendships, share status and what not. We make friends without any idea of possibility of the relations maturing to higher level. Is it that we are not really interested in serious friendship? Are these relations inherently casual with no possibility of blossoming?

       It definitely is a wrong way of looking at a great opportunity thrown by these sites. The difficulty is not with social networking but with our way of understanding friendship. We fail to understand the boundary conditions within which it must be allowed to mature. We fail to quell the slightest of provocations that come out of misunderstanding. I feel fortunate that some of my students are very good friends of mine. I am glad that we collectively maintained the limits of student- teacher relationship and succeeded in maturing the friendship. I must admit with great pleasure that facebook has thrown many possibilities of some relations developing in to friendship. The social networking sites provide us a chance to remain in contact, share, exchange but without learning to become a friend and have one, it is just an acquaintance not friendship.

If only we value and mature as a friend the friends list is of significance else har ek friend jaroori hota hai is just a hollow advertisement.