A Poem at a Sweet Mart

          

       I was standing at the counter of a famous sweet mart to settle the bill. The man at the desk was not in a hurry. I was at the counter even before my package could reach. Looking around restlessly I saw a poem on the wall exactly behind the man. It caught my attention primarily because it was in Marathi titled ‘Mazi Ichchha’ meaning my longing, unusual indeed. The owner of the sweet mart who hailed from Rajasthan had put a poem in Marathi. It instantly stimulated my curiosity. I was through first four lines and was stunned by the flow and thought. It was talking about a prayer for not protecting when in danger but making fear unknown when in danger. It was a brilliant poem. It caught my imagination. When I looked at the bottom the name of the poet was written. Engulfed I already was stood there awestruck reading the name ‘Rabindranath Tagore’. Mesmerized I paid the bill and left.

        The spirit of the poem had left deep impression on me. I was wondering how such a wonderful poem found its place in a sweet mart. I was very much happy for a Marathi poem finding its way to a sweet mart own by family from Rajasthan. Days passed and it slipped from memory. Next time when I went to buy sweets it still was there. I ensured that I take a photograph and asked about the poem. He had no idea what the poem was but passed the information that it was given by a doctor. Not surprisingly the man who was handling the cash at the counter was not carrying the fragrance and beauty of literary flower at his back. Probably for him it was a prayer put there for better fortune. He absolutely had no idea what was the prayer for.

     At home I started frantically searching for the poem on the internet with Marathi title, English titles as My Wish, Prayer by Rabindranath Tagore but in vain. After a frustrating search I found the mention of Marathi translation and the poem on a scrapped Orkut blog. There the name of the translator was missing. Even the blogger had acknowledged that he had no idea who translated and what was the original work of the great poet. I was desperate to get the original work but there was no clue. One blogger mentioned that the original poem was initially part of Gitanjali but was later removed. It was in Bengali he had added. It was disappointing. I even sent the Marathi version to a student living in Kolkata if he had any idea fully aware that for him it was going to be a huge challenge understanding Marathi.

      The search reached a dead end but spirit of the poem and beauty stayed within. One fine day I got a collection of Marathi poems which was translation of some of the works of Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore. There I found a poem mentioned as Gitanjali poem 4. A closer look revealed that the essence of the poem matched with the Marathi translation. It was a beautiful poem. My heart filled with great admiration for the translator. Better I say it was interpreted with precision and expressed beautifully in Marathi. I still don’t know who did it. The Gitanjali poem which I accidentally stumbled upon is

That you protect me in danger

This is not my prayer:

Let me not know fear

When in danger.

I do not ask you to comfort me

in the heat of sadness.

In the aching state of mind.

Make me victorious over sadness.

Let not my strength break down

when I find myself without a refuge.

If I suffer any worldly loss,

if I am repeatedly frustrated.

Let me not consider this harm irreparable.

That you come to save me

This is not my prayer;

I ask for strength to overcome.

You need not comfort me

by lightening my load;

I ask for strength to carry my burden.

On days of joy

with humble head

I will remember you.

I will recognize you.

On a dark sad night

full of frustrations

O then may I not doubt you!

                                                Rabindranath Tagore

     

        Simple words but great meaning! It magnificently tells us what to ask when we pray. The first stanza tells that my prayer is not seeking protection from danger rather when in danger fearlessness is what I long for. What an antithesis to our own perception of what we pray for. We pray with a desire that we don’t have to face danger.  We want to get rid of threat. The prospect of a threat instills fear. This disturbs our peace of mind. The great poet has exactly opposite philosophy. He wants courage not fear. He does not want danger to disappear. He wants to take on danger without fear. These lines are the first footprints of the philosophy this poem presents.

         In the succeeding lines poet’s prayer is not for seeking comfort from divine in the heat of sadness but for being victorious over sadness. A subtle difference can be easily overlooked. We never want victory over sadness we don’t want sadness. We don’t want to find ourselves in sadness and if at all we sink in there we want the divine to make sadness disappear. It is not a victory for we don’t want to wage a war, we want to run away under the guise of making sadness vanish. We just don’t want enemy for we want to evade fight. What a fighting spirit! And how beautifully it is concealed in prayer! 

      Without any support in adverse conditions we become feeble. So usually we seek support or just don’t want adverse condition. Gurudev Rabindranath prays for retaining strength. Worldly losses, frustrations inject despair. He prays for a ray of hope. We feel that such losses are irretrievable but the real hope is they are always reversible. Reading between the lines he is not seeking divine intervention in blocking the worldly losses. He wants to live peacefully with a hope that they are reversible, they can be compensated for. He wants strength to carry the burden. No divine help to lighten it. This is all about fighting spirit, about hope, about having deep faith in invoking strength. 

       When conditions are in favour we are ready to acknowledge the divine, we remember almighty crediting the happiness to His grace. But when situation turns against us, we sink in despair we tend to question the divine as how the omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent made me go through all this hardship? In a way we doubt His presence. A natural course for most but the noble laureate longs that he doubt not the supreme power. In the days of joy and peace he remembers Him but in days of turmoil, of depression, of frustrations he still wants to remember, doesn’t want to doubt Him. He doesn’t view divine relative to the situation he is in. This is thought provoking. We want the divine to rescue us or to fulfill our desires. So we pray. The poem goes diametrically opposite to our philosophy, motive behind our prayers. We desire to have a change in outer adverse conditions, the poem expresses desire to challenge them. It invokes inner strength. We long for the outer protective wall, the poem wants to build impregnable wall within.

         The first casualty of adverse situation is peace of mind. It means our inner core is vulnerable. Oblivious of the inner weakness we want somebody to intervene to get rid of unpleasant situation. The poem seeks inner strength to fight attack from outside. Wants to secure peace of mind from within. Threat affects our mind and takes the toll on body. When the armour is built within threat fails to penetrate. The mind remains at peace and so is body. Irrespective of the difficulty calmness prevails. Threat or threat perception the ripples of internal disturbance just don’t generate or instantly degenerate into tranquility.

          The poem has always fascinated me. It has been a source of inspiration. It often reminds me whom to pray and what to pray for. It is a wonderful poem. With not a single difficult word, no complex sentence one can easily get a self-satisfying feeling of grasping what poet wants to say. The reality may be you haven’t reached there. Probably you passed by having just a glimpse. The simplicity and the beauty is so engulfing that the philosophy of the poem could be easily missed. It is so gentle in telling purpose of prayer somebody like me doing exactly opposite doesn’t get hurt. A better way is shown to us without any hurting comment on our way. When poet gently strikes a chord with reader and tells that when he prays this is what he longs for, a question quietly rises inside the reader what does he long for when he prays?  

           To be honest the beauty of the poem I do enjoy but practicing the philosophy has always been a greater challenge for me, more often a failure. Innumerable times I have failed in keeping calm when in difficulty, have not been able to live up to the philosophy of the poem but I still am hopeful that He will give me strength to follow the path lit by the poem. A path of inner peace, of tranquility, leading to the depth of an ocean unruffled by the ripples along the surface.       

        

** For those who understand Marathi here is the translation of poem in Marathi. What a wonderful interpretation. Salute to the master translator whose name is under the dark veil of past.

      माझी इच्छा

विपत्तीमध्ये तू माझे रक्षण कर
ही माझी प्रार्थना नाही
विपत्तीमध्ये मी भयभीत होऊ नये
एवढीच माझी इच्छा
दुःख  तापाने व्यथित झालेल्या माझ्या मनाचे
तू सांत्वन करावे अशी माझी अपेक्षा नाही
दुःखावर जय मिळवता यावा
एवढीच माझी इच्छा
माझ्या मदतीला कोणी आले नाही
तर माझे बळ मोडून पडू नये
एवढीच माझी इच्छा
माझे रक्षण करावे मला करावे
ही माझी प्रार्थना नाही
तरुन जाण्याचे सामर्थ्य माझ्यात असावे
एवढीच माझी इच्छा
माझे ओझे हलके करून तू माझे सांत्वन केले नाहीस
तरी माझी तक्रार नाही
ते वाहायची शक्ती माझ्यात असावी
एवढीच माझी इच्छा
सुखाच्या दिवसांत नतमस्तक होऊन
मी तुझा चेहरा ओळखून काढीन
दुःखाच्या रात्री जेव्हा सारे जग माझी फसवणूक करेल
तेव्हा तुझ्याविषयी माझ्या मनात शंका निर्माण होऊ नये

एवढीच माझी इच्छा  

                                     गुरुदेव रवींद्रनाथ टागोर