The Trance
An opportunity to go to a classical music
concert is hard to come by at Chandrapur. Recently I had the one to attend. As
advertised the first was by Phil Scarf and other one was by a well-known singer
Anand Bhate on the same day. To be honest I have little knowledge of intricacies
of classical singing but I like the rendition, enjoy the semi-classical music which
often is part of such concerts for it often is the choice of majority. In that
sense I belong to majority than the minority with unchallenged knowledge of
classical music. Whatever my plans as the date came closer it became clear that
I would be able to attend only one and that too the second one. This was quite
embarrassing for me as it would require me to enter the concert hall in the middle
of the concert. I always hated this for two reasons one it’s no good being late
at the concert and second I consider it a disturbance in the concert.
But
I had little choice so I decided to skip initial concert of Phil Scarf and be
part of second one. As planned I reached the venue at given time. The plan was
to enter during the interval between two concerts. As always for me, I am not
destined to follow plans, not always at fault but then the situation so often
turns against me. I was at the entry gate expecting a break but came to know
that the first concert started late and is likely to take another hour to
finish. In dilemma as what to do I started peeping in to check for the possible
entry without creating the disturbance. I just managed to take a seat just close
to the door and tried to shift to the concert mode. It didn't take much time
for me to tune in. He was playing Saxophone, a western instrument but it was Indian
classical music coming out of it. A handsome man he was completely immersed in
playing the Saxophone. I was also lost in the world created by him. That was a
great experience, I was enjoying it.
Suddenly I realized that not all were in
complete tune with the concert. A man two rows in front of me was restless. One
couple of rows from me was busy with mobile not on the call but must be
facebook or Whatsapp. I lost the focus as two three persons passed by close to
me. I as usual cursed them for the disturbance. It was never a comfort
zone for me, people causally moving in the concert. I consider it an insult to
the artist. If an artist is performing, giving his best then we must be patient
with him. If the rendition fails to strike the chord within you still you must appreciate
the efforts, must remain patient. We, I think must understand that no artist
however lesser known he may be, ever wants his concert to flop. Unfortunately
for a reason or two it may at worst fail to get the audience within its embrace
but it is not a reason enough to create disturbance in the concert. My
observation about this is that such disturbances are not only common but they
find a way through in a concert irrespective of the performance or rendition of
the artist. They are created usually by those who have least regard for the art
and the artist. There is a claim from those who don't mind creating a
disturbance like this that the artists are also thoroughly professional and
would never give 100% in a city like Chandrapur and they also don't make much
fuss about it for they are used to it. I don't know the how true it is but it
makes me uncomfortable as I consider it lacks decorum, smells of arrogance and complete
disregard for the art. Whatever I was in the midst of a performance by a
western artist on western instrument but the rendition was Hindustani
classical. Saxophone playing Indian music.
The disturbance melted away, I again focused
on the performance. It was a great. He was lost in the musical magic created by
his own imagination. His eyes were closed, mind completely immersed in the
musical web he was weaving. I was mesmerized not just by his performance but by
his honesty with his music. He was all into it. It seemed he was in complete
disconnect with the world outside. His world was different. He was taking the audience
with him there. There was no forceful attempt from him to take the audience but
rather he was inviting us in the beauty he was seeing, experiencing. The
concert ended, the audience erupted in appreciation. I felt enriched by this
new experience.
From next day onwards I lost myself in my
routine, college -lectures -students back to home. Classes though part of
routine always remain new for me maintaining a kind of uncertainty. No two
lectures of mine are same, what I feel, when measured on parameters like fine
tuning with students, level of understanding, expression and most importantly
satisfaction of teacher himself. Every lecture in that sense is unique. A new
experience, a new chapter in personal improvement, a small step in the direction
of personal goal of becoming a good teacher. As I believe I always learn from
every lecture, over the entire session this translates into what I learnt
something that will help me grow as a better teacher next session. Thinking
this way every lecture is a challenge.
It
was a pleasant morning. My preparation of the lecture was elaborate, mood was
fantastic and when I entered I found students equally fresh. The stage was set
for a good lecture. I began the lecture. The lecture was really going well.
Students were receptive. I felt that they were enjoying the lecture. There was
serious discussion coupled with small bursts of humor. I was in good flow,
enjoying the teaching and suddenly from the left corner I noticed a
disturbance. One student was trying to tease the other sitting by his side. I
just ignored his behavior as an aberration and continued with the lecture. But
he was restless, in funny mood. He was trying to pull other fellow into his
fold who was resisting him. My irritation grew and finally I lost my patience.
I asked him a simple question based on what I was teaching. He was completely
out of tune with the class. As expected he failed to answer, was duly punished.
I ordered him to leave the class which he did. I continued but the link was
broken, I found it very difficult to pull myself back to same tuning.
I finished the lecture but what could
have been a very good lecture turned out to be no so good. My regret was one
out of fifty fell out and damaged the beautiful frame I was building. Once I
lost the link it became difficult to recreate the lost mood. I still managed to
teach well but then that special element was missed. I was in my cabin, alone
thinking about the lecture. How just one student who was not interested in my
lecture disturbed the whole class and myself? But he was within his right to
lose his interest in my class once in a while. In a slightly different
perspective I failed to keep him interested in my class, my fault in fact, but
he was punished for the simple reason that I was in command.
Thoughts just crowded, kept on coming, don't
know how but for no reason as such I remembered the concert. I started comparing
my lecture and the concert. Phil was playing saxophone there, I was in my
lecture. He was in trance. He was in a way cut off from the world outside. The audience
was in the magical web of his music he had created. Those who couldn't connect,
they of course were few, were unstable but so focused he was he could easily
disconnect with those not connected to his world. His trance was not affected
by those who created disturbance. Their movements disturbed me but not Phil. He
had managed to deliver his best isolating the disturbance but my lecture was
spoiled by one unruly student. I did try to enforce discipline but the end
result was I could not isolate my lecture from the disturbance. That artist was
in total consonance with his music I don't know where I stood.
What made it possible for him to isolate
the world around him rendering his performance unaffected by the activities of the
audience? The answer I think he had unified his soul with his music, eyes
closed, the world outside was shut, those who like enter the world inside, else
remain outside… simple. That was the trance I envy. Wish one day I will have my
soul in my lecture, with eyes wide open students will sail with me on the
intellectual journey, the world inside will have no effect on it by any
challenge outside. The trance ...I dream of attaining one day in my lecture...The
trance I am ready to wait for till...
