The Free World

The Free World ……..

          It was the busy day, as usual, with the uneasy uncertainty but was finding something was missing  from my life. Early morning I woke up with the plans of money left at the end of the month. The payments, next month’s EMI of home loan, vacation tour which was overdue for more than two years were all weighing heavily on my mind. As usual there was huge mismatch in the plans and wallet size, the must category spending on food, clothing, some out of necessity, other out of prestige were all set to flatten the wallet. I got up, completed the routine, tea, newspaper, shaving, bathing, formals and finally perfume to make others feel pleasant and comfortable, very much ritualistically. Waited for the taxi, boarded one, was engrossed in the planning of the work in the office that day, even forgot the traffic blues. Got down at the office, turned to the building and started moving, ohhh… suddenly realized, the taxi fare….., I didn’t pay the fare, had absolutely forgotten, turned around to see the taxi slowly moving to disappear. He didn’t demand the due? He too forgot?  I yelled at the taxi to pay his due. Tried to take out the wallet out of pocket but failed. My hand was desperately searching all possibilities, I was very much uncomfortable. To my utter shock it was not in place, did I lose it? No I left it at home. In just a flash my honesty faded, did not want the driver to come and demand the fare, the embarrassment,  I wanted to avoid, the prestige that was at stake, I wanted to save;  honesty, integrity…….. didn’t have any option. A beggar with starved child was on the other side, she was coming to me, my favourite, a BMW zoomed in between, I turned back  faster, started walking briskly.

        Suddenly I remembered that I kept the ATM cum debit card in the bag along with some documents. I heaved a sigh of relief that I had not run out of cash. Anytime I could purchase with choice, pay for object of desire. Just remembered, the last date for the payment of car loan EMI was a day away, it was just a consolation but had to pay for the diamond ring that I booked for birthday surprise. The balance and out of balance budget pushed me in despair. I started to move in the direction of known ATM to check and get some cash. To my surprise it wasn’t there. Where had it gone? ……. 

      I entered the office and immediately lost in the world that was dead in files, alive in policies, active in implementation, bustling with humanity, busy in monetary considerations, directed towards profits, balance sheet was supreme. Saturated at the end of the long day, I somehow finished the work, went to cafeteria nearby, had a coffee, pulled the card to pay, nobody was there to receive. Initial morals on don’t take anything for free turned into an opportunity to get it free, it gave concealed smile on my face. I swiftly moved away. I was steadily moving towards home. I was feeling the comfort of getting free services from taxi, didn’t have to pay for the coffee, the missing ATM automatically saved the purse.

      I was irresistibly thinking, was the day a luckier one for me that I didn’t pay  a rupee for the services. Immoral…..???  come on ….  That’s luck man. Why not try for something else. Anything big…..no, its risky… what if luck runs out ….. would surely land me in huge embarrassment … may be in jail ….. a breaking news of  white collared thief being caught ……. I shrugged in the chill. Smaller one……., vegetable vendors, grocery shop … let’s try. In any case I had to get those in accordance with the home minister’s order. It would have been a disaster, had I forgotten.  I just went to buy needed items, fresh vegetables, came to the counter, to my disbelief  nobody was there. I waited , then thought , why search for him…?  Today, my luckier day, why spoil it? Gone in seconds, was I.

      Can I make the day the luckiest one? A thought just went through. It seemed nobody was interested in taking money. I should have taken lot of other things I might need in future from the shop, thought I. After all what was the guarantee that tomorrow would be same. I was getting anxious to try other things. I immediately called the bank services even though it was 7.00pm, fortunately he was available. I started enquiring about the EMI. The reply exploded in my mind. “Sir, you don’t have to pay any more……. The world has changed.”  Untamed shock wave in mind triggered another. It took a while to calm down.

     At home waiting for the coveted sleep, the events of the day made me forget even my family. Everybody was asleep. I was thoroughly woken in my conscience. It was feeling of, delight, great delight………. Plus in the remote corner of heart …….  A   guilt, desperately trying to survive … the burden of the luckiest day. Its survival was giving me moral sting, non venomous, serene …I didn’t pay, was I opportunistic? It made  me restless, the sleep was shying away. In the calm cool night when the world had a deep sleep, the whirlwind in me took me to different world.

        Is it possible? Our day begins with the planning  of saving and spending money, we work not because we like but to make money, we seek pleasure in making money more often than in using, money puts us in comfort, lack of it we are worried , it gives us status, creates divide in society, categorizes  us as haves and have-nots , invites us to higher level, we strive for it, work hard for it, it still remains elusive, ever short of our greed but is it enough for our need?…….. May be, yes. We have problems of  plenty at affluent societies but starvation at deprived. The basis of denial …  money, only money. We have the food, over eaten, wasted , rotting  in storages and starvation deaths due to lack of purchasing  power, …. no money.  We are happy with home, car and all the luxuries but tense due to EMI. Our entire world revolves around money. From womb to tomb we travel on and with money. But is it the money we actually need?  Is it not  the medium only  to get what we need. Just a broker. Are we so heavily dependent on broker that it is dictating terms to us?  Is it our world or of money? If it is ours, can we make it free from the shackles of it?

    If we have a world without money then  will we really work only for pleasure, will we get good services travel, medical…… at  no cost. Hospitals, huge farms, stores, nice homes  but no banks, no loans, no credit cards, …….no printed pieces of paper…. Happiness all around  ….?  What about human temptations, greed…., can we control them? Will we work when there will be no monetary gains? What will push us, motivate us to reach to higher platform and fundamentally will there be any higher platform? If at all,  on what basis?  Money takes away our peace but can the world live, work without money peacefully or brute force will rule and we will go to our primitive stage?  I realized there are more questions than answers. How funny is it, we seek answer in money for every problem but have no answers to problems due to money.

      At global level the human greed has taken over all the resources, putting the entire humanity in grave danger. We are surely going to consume all the resources. Can we make a world better place with no discrimination, no deprivation, acceptance of interdependency for survival, food for all, no wastage of limited resources, no to environmental exploitation, nobody will die of starvation and nobody will waste food. All will work for the common good of humanity.

     Is it feasible? Doesn’t matter.  All great souls who founded religions, who selflessly worked for the people, devoted whole life for the betterment of humanity never thought about the feasibility of  their actions, thoughts. They simply worked. Any proposal that  sincerely wants to create peaceful space for humanity must be welcome for beauty lies in peace, serenity.

      A world fairer, free, sustainable ……. We all need … Do we need money for it? Why think of its feasibility, lets accept it as an attempt to elevate ourselves to higher moral platform.

  The whirlwind subsided. I was at peace with myself. I fell asleep.
  Was that a dream? ……. I don’t know.

*** This is written on a link send to me by Sharat Prasad, my student, on Free World Charter. He wanted me to comment  on it. I settled for a blog. I am sharing this link with all of you. Thank you Sharat for sharing and wanting me to write on it. The Free World Charter proposes a world free of money. Rather than just analyzing, I tried to write differently. For details you can log on to their site.***

http://www.freeworldcharter.org/

Saving Private Ryan

Saving Private Ryan

Dear Madam,

    I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,

A. Lincoln

   This is how Abraham Lincoln wrote to a mother of five whose all sons died in war; a historical letter expressing condolences. A tragedy and a letter both part of the history but with terrific blend of patriotism, emotion, sensitivity and above all showing us what Abraham Lincoln, the leader, was. Today from the podium of the memorial service organized to pay tribute to those who died in the 9/11 terror attack on world trade centre, read Gorge Bush, the same letter. He was then the President when attack took place. The service was attended by Obama and Bush. Thousands mourned the lost dear ones. Hundreds died in the attack that shook the world and changed the way, the only super power was looking at the terrorism. That one incident took the terror, which America had no inhibitions in sponsoring for her own interests, directly at her door, which the Americans considered safest place in the world.

    The letter read by Bush and written by Lincoln was the inspiration behind the fantastic movie Saving Private Ryan by Spielberg. A classic war film takes us very close to the horror the war is and men of great character. Coming across the news of death of three brothers, the general there reads the same letter. The mission to save the fourth, Private Ryan, starts, led by Captain Miller. A super movie moves us inward. Private Ryan survives but Miller and his team lay down their lives. While dying Miller says to Ryan “…. earn this. Earn it.”  

     Many civilians died in the 9/11 terror attack, and also fire fighters, security officers. Mr. Bush could not find words more apt than in the letters to express the bereavement, simultaneously inducing the patriotic fervor. Ten years on, the images of plane crashing on the world trade centre still evoke terror in America. Remember there hasn’t been a major attack on American soil in these years. What about us? We continue to have attacks, blasts leaving behind the trail of blood and agony. We also have gallant men fighting for the country, putting country first and own life last. There are many examples of young men of twenty three, twenty four making supreme sacrifice for all of us like Capt. Punit Dutta, Captain Vikram Batra,……….. What their bereaved family gets in return, frustration, pain and looking at the scenario in the country a huge hurt with a question, is this what my son died for?

    The historical mother in USA lost all five sons. Our history is replete with stories of mothers happily sending sons to fight for the country but the question is not how many sons a mother has lost in the war? The question is not how many sons of a mother are in the armed forces? The question is not how many young men are willing to join army? The question is not of saving the only surviving Ryan as in the movie? The question is are we sensitive enough to understand the sacrifice they are making for us? Question is, is our system giving what is due to them? The question is, are we making this country, for which they died, a better place to live? Do we care for their sacrifice? They have given us life, are we ready to earn it?

    These men are different. They are exceptional. At a time when they could have enjoyed all the luxuries of life, they willing adopted a life dangerous and tough, to defend our country. What we all forget is none of them ever thought of what there their sacrifice would be worth to people of  India, they simply did it, we forgot it only to be remembered occasionally. These men are a class apart. They will always do it for us in the highest tradition of our armed forces. They are highly motivated men. They will never bother about their welfare.

    Abraham Lincoln himself wrote the letter of condolence, the General in Saving Private Ryan did not want to write one so he had a mission to save the lone survivor. Pain of losing a son or sons is beyond words. Why wait for few deaths and then try to save the alive? Why can’t we try for a world that prevents further occurrences of letters like this?  Why should a mother lose a son? Question is not whether we succeed, it is do we have a frame of mind suitable to it? Do we easily  take an emotional ride owing to rhetoric of our leaders? We are in debt of  these men and their families, are we ready to accept this honestly? Come an enemy these men will fight but can we make their families proud looking at the state of the country that the sacrifice of their son hasn’t gone in vain?  

Are we going to try to save our own Ryans without waiting for loss of brothers?

Losing five sons is a terrible loss.

Is losing the only son any less?

The image of Major Sandeep  Unnikrishnan  struck my mind.

I could see nothing afterwards………

The Blast

 

The Blast

         What’s new? .... Nothing.

     A huge, deafening  blast, wild fire,  canopy of smoke, pool of blood,  mutilated, half burned bodies, groaning men, women and children, conscious, semiconscious, dead, on the verge of death, human flesh spread all over, common man in a hurry to help, wounded  bundled in to a tempo traveler, an auto rickshaw, rushing photographers, running media, a flash of breaking news and high level meetings, NIA, NSG all on the spot, VVIP visits to the spot and hospitals, their security adding to the woes of relatives of injured, strong words, vows to fight, call to unite, stay calm, denouncing  the act, cowardly act, the culprits will be brought to book, declaration of compensation,…..

Anything  new?.... no not at all.

   Discussion on the box, analysis by the pundits,  criticism of the govt., demand of resignations, search for foreign hand,  discussion at all corners, fear of loss of loved ones, anxiety to call, send SMS to loved ones to ensure their safety, search for the missing, call for the blood donation, painful search of bodies, ascending figures of dead, tears…, tears…, tears…, in the eyes of victims, their relatives and all sensitive people ………  Missing in the picture clueless police, uninstalled cctv, installed cctv malfunctioning, no intelligence, not so specific intelligence, no alert before, red alert after, systemic apathy, ………..

Anything  new?.....  no, not at all.

     A human tragedy, recurring with terrifyingly short time span.  Unfortunately  we have another tens of Indians dead, hundreds have lost their dear ones and thousands are mourning. The resilience is applauded, we are back to work, in the day to struggle the disaster is forgotten only to be remembered on anniversary, in couple of days everything is normal, hunt for the terrorist is on…………..

Anything new?....  no,  not at all.

     Govt. swings for the political damage control, police for the investigation, opposition for the attack, press conferences of men in uniform, clues, possible leads, temporary arrests, arrests, unregistered arrests, linking of religion, questioned integrity,  picked up innocents, condoned  guilty, no fixing of responsibilities, experts lamenting  about incompetent  intelligence gathering, political interference in appointment, transfer and protection of ineffectual men in uniform. All call for police reforms. Competent men must get sensitive posting. We need no nonsense men leading khaki. All political parties say this when in opposition and forget conveniently when in power. Nobody wants police reforms. Those in power want control over police to serve political ends, want men of their choice at various police stations, don’t want all criminals to be arrested, all the cases to be investigated, want to apply proper selection criterion before action. Do police have time to gather intelligence? Are they misused, underpaid, bullied and overworked?

Anything new?....  no, not at all.

   Police reforms gather dust, life goes on unchanged, all return to routine, normal life. We want leaders close to our identity, leaders want pliable police, police want plum  postings, criminals enjoy, patriots lament and enemy ….. seal the tragedy. The investigation hits dead end, misery of the dead is endless……Anything new,  no,  not at all.

Anything new?.....  no,  not at all.

    Yes... Yes... The list of the dead is new. List of the injured is new. List of those with irreparable loss is new. List with broken bodies, destroyed spirit of life is new. Eyes seeking new meaning to life are new.

This tribute is new.

Breaking news tomorrow will be new.

Months afterwards breaking news ……. of …. the.... bl..……will be…….

Teacher's Day

       5^th September is always a special day. I must admit here that the importance of the day, in true sense, I realized only after joining the teaching profession. Over the years, I have been through all kinds of experiences, good, bad, depressing, encouraging but all of them together have become part of my life. This blog of course has given me an opportunity to reach to my students, as many as possible, who also hold memories of me good as well as bad. As I can see, we all evolve as a human being and as a professional from immaturity to a line of maturity, which experiences in life tend to push further.  As a teacher I have had the fortune of having many students who had given me so much of respect that I was often forced to question myself whether I really deserved that or not. But at least  this indicated that my path and approach was not totally wrong.

     I must express with deep sense of gratitude the contribution of my teachers in shaping my life personal as well as professional, directly or indirectly. On teacher's day I want to publish an article on one of the finest teachers I have ever had. The following article was written three years back. Given my emotional involvement I desperately wanted to publish it but without editing. But I preferred not to send it to any print media; I kept it with me. Some of my friends did know about it. This blog I find the most appropriate place to publish it.

      I take this opportunity to thank all my students for their affection knowing me fully with all my limitations, human imperfections.

    On this blog I would be as candid as one can be in sharing my experiences that taught me, sensitized me and above all made me realize how imperfect I am in dealing with others.

    Thank you.

Teacher’s Day

      Come 5^th September every year and mobile starts ringing unusually frequently, the beeps of SMS arrivals recur at high rate and at the college too, the sweet sound of “Happy Teacher’s Day!!” fall on already alert ears. A small function properly organized, well managed with lot of emotional and funny cuisine but thinly attended, in the afternoon. Of course for others it is a holiday. The significance of teacher’s day changed only when I joined as a lecturer after getting a bachelor’s degree in engineering. For somebody like me who joined the teaching profession by accident and not by intent, the time lapse was inevitable before I could enjoy teaching. The self-sustaining spirit of satisfaction that you experience when you teach well can change the way you look at life.

      In today’s world where professional attitude is replacing emotional bonding in all walks of life the teaching field cannot insulate itself in its entirety. But against all odds, I must say, some bonds survive. When you try your level best with utmost sincerity the students appreciate you. They may not express but they certainly remember you. They may not be in large numbers but that doesn’t count perhaps, because their affection and respect always overshadow the numbers.

      Few years back it was 6^th September, early morning, I was having my cup of tea with news papers in company. The yesterday’s function was on my mind and my eyes fell on unusual news about a teacher’s day celebration function. I was shocked. I was in utter disbelief; news took me down the memory lane straight to my school days.

     I was admitted to Jubilee High school, Chandrapur in 5^th standard. Grand old building, huge play ground, big classrooms; everything seemed to be tailor made to learn with lot of fun. We had all kinds of teachers but the one who caught our imagination was Akkewar Sir. He was in charge of NCC. He didn’t teach us any subject that year but his all imposing presence was easily felt.

      It was his personality that reflected his unique character. White shirt, white pant, both ironed to sharp edges along the crease, military style hair cut and well-trimmed broad moustache, all combined, built an imposing personality that was not physically big. He started teaching us when we moved up. He was very neat and clean on that front as well. Nice handwriting, clear voice with enough weight, command over the subject and add to it a friendly approach, he was a teacher everybody just loved and feared. Another amazing part of his personality was that he never went to tailor for clothes. He himself designed and tailored his dress.

     He wore a stubborn look and radiated no non-sense approach. Whenever we went to him for difficulties, academic as well as others, his response was always positive, caring and assuring, inducing in us a feeling that our problems would definitely be addressed to. Talk to him one would find a teacher with parental feelings but try defying the discipline you would be facing the commander of our NCC battalion. In any case he was perfect for the NCC job.

       It was a typical day in the school. Nothing special. We were in the classroom adjacent to the chemistry laboratory. That was the only classroom, might be the only one in the entire Chandrapur, with sitting arrangement like a theater. We were in the class only physically. I don’t remember who was engaging the class. We were desperate to get out of the forced seriousness. The distance between window and eyes was vanishing; our eyes had expanded to the size of the window, the world outside was inching closer and closer. The ground was calling. The lecture ended. The exit of teacher immediately switched the mood. We all started making best of couple of minutes that we got before next teacher arrived.

       Suddenly everybody fell silent for we got the glimpses of Akkewar Sir coming towards the classroom. He stepped in but his body language clearly indicated something was wrong. The friendly smile on his   stubborn face was   missing. His thundering voice broke the silence. He was referring to indiscipline and misbehavior of some students. He asked who they were. Everybody was experiencing tons of load on the tongue. Everybody was quite. An uneasy calm prevailed. The sitting arrangement made hiding impossible. But an eye contact with him would have catastrophic implications. With nobody opening the mouth he then called a girl. The suspense started to unfold.

       The girl had complained to him of teasing by some students. As it seemed the complaint was harmless, at least that’s how we thought. Somebody called her by her father’s name adding to it ‘mechanic’, our version, for her it was teasing deserving a complaint against. We thought the girl had stretched the matter too far. The girl had a different view altogether; the boys had crossed the boundary. For Sir, since the complaint came from a girl, the seriousness got multiplied. He just wanted her to tell the names. Even though I was absolutely oblivious of the incident it put me on the burner. Unknown about the involved ones and unsure of the girl, I was nervous as well as anxious. So was the entire class.  She named around five students and others heaved a sigh of relief. Now the focus shifted to punishment. All of us were very much curious as to see what it was going to be because one of the named students was his son. In absolute shock and disbelief we heard the quantum of punishment. He told her to slap all the boys involved in teasing. She did it.

          He didn’t spare his son. After that none of us could ever dare to indulge in any sort of comment passed on any of the class girls. That year fear overshadowed respect. But as I grew and started learning from life his stature as an ideal teacher increased steadily. He was different, never part of the crowd, had the courage to face extremely awkward situations, and always stood firmly on moral ground without ever claiming it.

          After spending more than fifteen years in the teaching profession when I try to put myself in similar situations a shiver goes down my spine. Honestly, I won’t be able to do what he did that day. So easily he could cross the barrier of fatherhood and climb to a moral high I find almost impossible to reach. I can see it but cannot attain it. May be this is the way a beacon is defined. After passing out from Jubilee High School, occasionally we met. He was always at his parental best, very much eager to know about my well being. Being a meritorious student I have always had the fortune of getting more attention from him. He has taught us how to be caring about the students even after they pass out.

        The news was of a teacher’s day function where Akkewar Sir was invited. He was then retired and was living a peaceful life. In the function he had a massive heart attack. He was immediately rushed to the hospital only to be declared about his demise. An unexpected but an ideal end to an ideal teacher! We have always heard of army men laying down their life in the battlefield. It was the only incident I ever heard of, a teacher breathing his last at teacher’s day function.

     As a teacher, I don’t know whether I will ever be able to elevate myself to the high moral ground he stood firmly on, but do fill most fortunate that I have somebody to look at in my journey as a teacher.    

     I never said to him happy teachers day and will never be able to say it. But one thing for sure the teacher’s day will never be the same again.

                               Happy Teacher’s Day!!!